The beautiful metal bird is soaring at around 500 knots with 200 hoomans squished into economy seats in its belly. They are completely at the mercy of an AI named Amy.
This truly sounds like the plot of a low-budget sci-fi horror…
But no.
It’s Heathrow Airport’s new “brilliant” plan to handle its half-million annual flights. Because clearly, throwing AI into the most congested airspace on Earth is just what the doctor ordered.
But wait, it gets better (or worse, depending on your survival instincts).
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Amy.. Is she Skynet’s cousin or just misunderstood?
The AI in question is lovingly named Amy, and essentially she is an overachiever who’s decided it can do everyone’s job better. She stitches together radar and 4K camera feeds and by doing that, she creates a digital diorama of every flying contraption scuttling around Heathrow’s overcrowded skies. Amy collects all the data of these flights, from flight numbers to whether a plane’s inbound or outbound, she has got it all.
But don’t get too comfy.
Experts (read: the doom-and-gloom brigade) are already clutching their pearls.
Why you ask….
Of course Amy excels at crunching numbers, because she’s a computer, duhhh, bot for the rest she is as clueless as a goldfish when something goes sideways.
Take Colin Rigby for example. He is the protagonist of our story and he is a bigwig academic from Keele University, and he puts it rather un-Britishly blunt: “AIs don’t do nuance”.
Ok, some translation is in place: if a flock of rogue geese decides to party on the runway, Amy is gonna choke harder than _________________(you fill in the blanks, but you get my idea).
Digital towers and invisible airfields
NATS (that’s the National Air Traffic Services, not the insect) is hyped.
Because they want a “fully operational digital contingency tower” by the year 2027.
What’s that, you ask?
That is basically, air traffic control without anyone having to actually see the runway.
You know, because visual confirmation is so passé.
The antagonist of this story is called Andy Taylor. He is NATS’ Chief Solutions Officer, and he is of course all in.
Heads first I’m guessing.
He gushes about how the digital tower means “replacing the out-of-the-window view” with a processed digital feed.
Sure, Andy. Let’s just hope Amy’s 4K cameras don’t get distracted by a smudge on the lens during a storm.
Let’s zoom out: ships, buses, and the AI apocalypse
Think Heathrow’s alone in this AI madness?
Oh, you sweet summer child.
🌻
The shipping industry has been toying with AI captains who think that “iceberg” counts for 12 points in a game of scrabble.
And of course we have self-driving cars, who are honking at each other during the night, making all the neighbours happy at 2 AM. Read: Robotaxis in SF are feeling kinda ‘h*rny’ | LinkedIn. Let us also not forget that a Tesla once mistook the moon for a yellow traffic light. And autonomous buses? There’s an actual study where one bus parked itself into a fountain.
Progress!
If Amy’s aviation fantasy doesn’t scream a cautionary tale, I don’t know what does.
In fact, there’s a case to be made that humanity’s obsession with AI is less about efficiency and more about how quickly we can turn every mode of transport into a dystopian death lottery.
Amy’s fans and frenemies
Naturally, there are two camps here:
The Evangelists – Folks like Andy Taylor who believe Amy is the future of air traffic control. They will most likely tell you how this system is “in concert” with human controllers and that it augments them and not replaces them.
Sure, Andy.
That’s what musicians said about drum machines, too, until they were out of a job.
The Skeptics – Enter Colin Big Wigby, who says that AI systems “lack some serious contextual judgment”. He’s the guy in the corner screaming, “What happens when Amy crashes the system during a thunderstorm”?
But hey, nobody listens to the skeptics until it’s too late.
And where do I stand?
I’d rather stand barefoot on molten lava than fly to Heathrow with Amy at the helm. Seriously, if we can’t stop ChatGPT from confidently telling people Napoleon was a penguin, what makes anyone think Amy won’t casually “hallucinate” a couple of planes in a fiery mid-air tango? The most complex logistical system on Earth is reduced to the whims of an algorithm that might decide, “Hey, let’s add a fictional Airbus A380 just for kicks”
We are in the early stages of AI, and at this point, I would not trust critical infrastructure to a toddler with a crayon to draw your flight patterns. And this time, the stakes are 40,000 feet and a few hundred lives.
Hard pass for me, bruv.
Science says: We’re screwed
A study from MIT had already flagged the dangers of AI in high-stakes systems in 2023.
The TL;DR is that AI can’t improvise worth a damn.
Another report from the FAA noted hilariously how AI’s decision-making under pressure is about as reliable as a vending machine that is swallowing your coins and returns no coke.
But nonetheless, airports in Singapore, New York, and Hong Kong are following Heathrow’s lead anyway.
Because why not?
Who doesn’t want to add a little Russian roulette to their holiday plans?
Closing Thoughts: When Planes Start Colliding
Let’s face it
The moment AI fully takes over air traffic control, we’re one glitch away from airplanes playing bumper cars in the sky.
And it won’t stop there.
Ships will sail themselves into oblivion, self-driving buses will form Mad Max-style convoys, and your autonomous Uber will decide it’s tired of your 5-star rating nonsense.
So next time you hear someone say, “Relax, the AI’s got this”, maybe book a train instead.
Just kidding…
Trains are probably next on the AI chopping block.
Signing off – Marco
Well, that’s a wrap for today. Tomorrow, I’ll have a fresh episode of TechTonic Shifts for you. If you enjoy my writing and want to support my work, feel free to buy me a coffee ♨️
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