The European Union: the “land” of fine wine, cheese, beer and supposedly, rock-solid privacy laws. But in a crude plot twist that no one saw coming, their great plan to combat child abuse will leave your private messages exposed as a sunbather on the shores of Scheveningen (try to pronounce that!).
TL;DR:
The EU wants to fight child abuse by forcing messaging apps to scan all user communications, even on encrypted platforms like WhatsApp and Signal. This will destroy privacy, break encryption, and lead to mass surveillance (if not already). Some countries oppose the plan, but the debate continues, and privacy is at serious risk.
Before we start!
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Child protection vs. privacy apocalypse
Let’s start at the beginning.
The European Commission (a.k.a. the “let’s make rules” people) claim they want to protect kids online.
An Admirable, aim, no worries here, mate.
But hold on a second.
They also think the best way to do this is by forcing messaging apps to scan all users’ communications.
Yes, all.
They are using a bazooka to catch a mosquito.
Their logic is that since child abusers are using messaging apps more often. So, the EU thinks, “Let’s scan everything”. Because why not?
A technocratic nightmare
Thanks to some tech lobbyists (you know, the folks who sell overpriced child-safety gadgets), the EU’s master plan is to mandate apps to use AI to scan chats for illegal content.
Privacy schmivacy !
Who needs that anyway?
Lobbyists? They seem happy.
Everyone else, not so much.
Research from a Dr. I Told You So at University of Obvious Flaws, found that AI scanning systems have an error rate of 5%. This means that 5% of the time, you are either catching an innocent meme or flagging your cat pics as criminal content.
Impressive!
The best thing is that this tech will be used across the EU.
Yeah, give everyone a car, but no brakes.
The exception that’s now the rule
Messaging apps have a temporary “free pass” now, from EU privacy laws (until very close: May 2025) to voluntarily scan for child abuse material. But their newest latestestest plan is of course, to make it mandatory.
That’s right
Privacy.. Gone.
Scanning.. All day, every day.
Oh, and this just in: Professor Encryption Overload from Digital Fortress University in Antwerp says that mandatory AI-based scanning systems will break end-to-end encryption.
Nah, you already knew that those encrypted messages on WhatsApp weren’t safe..
I think it is best we all switch to carrier pigeons.
End-to-End encryption to be End-to-End exposed
Under the new law, not even the sacred E2EE platforms are spared. Apps like Signal and WhatsApp, will have to bend over backward to meet these new requirements. And they do that by breaking encryption with tech like client-side scanning.
According to Dr. DataLeak at CloudSecurity University, client-side scanning means that your messages are analyzed before they even get encrypted.
😮
If that doesn’t sound like a recipe for a privacy disaster, I don’t know what does.
A legal massage with no happy ending
EU lawmakers are not exactly in agreement.
The European Parliament wants to tone down the proposal ….. how noble.
But the EU Council is more like, “Nah, let’s just scan everything”. Classic technocratic “democracy”.
Last year, the EU data protection supervisors waved red flags all over the place, calling the proposal a tipping point for democracy. That’s code for, You’re about to kiss your privacy goodbye. And leaked legal advice even claims it’s flat out illegal under current EU law.
Meanwhile, in other countries…
Across the pond, the U.S. is casually watching from afar, where privacy is treated with the same level of concern as a half-priced hot dog stand.
Amma right, Snowden Edward ?
They passed laws like the EARN IT Act. And people who know it all say that it is the cousin of the EU’s chat-scanning plans. So, if you thought this was just a European issue, think again.
Australia, Simon Au-Yong, meanwhile, took their own swipe at privacy with their Assistance and Access Act. This actof distrust is giving their government the right to force companies to bust encryption for law enforcement.
What’s next people !?
I think carrier pigeons and smoke signals might become mainstream again.
Well, at least they’re secure.
Mass scanning is coming soon to a chat near you
So, where’s this terrifying law at now..
In limbo.
That is always the tactic when forcing new laws upon us unsuspecting citizens. First drop a bombshell, and let it die down for a few years, and casually and gradually nail it down.
The European Parliament and their Jedi’s are now saying something like “Hold up, maybe we shouldn’t destroy privacy for everyone”, while the evil emperor’s Council’s is still thinking about how to sugarcoat the whole “we’ll scan all your messages” thang.
Member states like the Netherlands have started to say, “Nah, we’re good”.
Thank god for that.
The NL is worried about the security risks and implications of breaking the encryption. But the Hungarian presidency is pushing full steam ahead.
In summary, get ready to choose… If you want a modern messaging app, you might have to say goodbye to your privacy. Want privacy, say hello to apps with fewer features than a Nokia 6410.
And if you think this whole debacle is just going to fade away, naaahhhh.
Lawmakers could still strike a deal, and you’ll be left wondering why your personal chats with Aunt Susie are suddenly everyone’s business.
Oh, the future looks so 1984
Signing off – Marco
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